A Clouded Mind
by mizperceived
Summary: What really goes on in Cloud's mind when Vincent speaks to him in the Forgotten City. !Crack! This is absolute insanity at it's finest. In the words of Lucrecia.. I'm so sorry. xP Read it! Laugh at it! Review it! Favorite it! ...or not.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings therein. They are the sole creative property of SquareEnix.  
I do however own Advent Children and Advent Children Complete (they really are 2 different movies if you think about it), & Final Fantasy 7 for my PS3. DUDE… IT'S AWESOME IN HD. Err… I digress.  
Title: A Clouded Mind  
Warnings: Complete and utter ridiculousness. I've either turned Cloud either into a raving idiot or an evil genius.  
The jury is still out on this one. There is some Elena bashing and poking fun at Tseng here. You are warned.  
Summary: Vincent informs Cloud the unknown fate of Tseng and Elena, and our friendly neighborhood Prince of the Emos lets his imagination run wild.

* * *

**A Clouded Mind**

* * *

"You're well informed," Cloud said as he sat up against a tree in The Forgotten City.  
"Tseng and Elena," Vincent supplied, "They were brought here half dead. They must have been brutally tortured. I did what I could to save them, but…well we'll see."  
"Tortured?' Cloud asked as his eyes scanned the ground, as if hoping the answer would sprout up out of the ground. Cloud tuned out the rest of what Vincent was saying as his mind wandered to what possible tortures those three strange men could have implemented on the captive Turks.

He could picture the stoic Tseng, tied to a chair, helpless. His perfect Turk suit torn to shreds, his hair all mussed. The Director at the mercy of the three deranged silver haired men would be a fate worse than death. Cloud visualized the most muscular of the three, Loz he thought he heard him being called, sitting there in front of Tseng, brutalizing the man.

Cloud saw in his mind's eye as Loz reached out with a strong finger and repeatedly pressed into the decoration on Tseng's forehead while saying "Ding dong" over and over again. Cloud shuddered as the image changed to Kadaj creeping up behind and grabbing Tseng in a sleeper hold and with a sponge in one hand started to viciously attempt to rub off the same marking. But that wasn't the most horrific vision he had for the torture of Tseng. There was the third brother, the one that had the more effeminate looks. Cloud died a little on the inside as he knew in his gut how Yazoo tortured the man. That villain forced the brave and wise Tseng to make out with Elena, who had the worse hair cut and split ends Cloud had ever seen, while the silver haired man recited from LOVELESS. Cloud, bless his emo heart, couldn't handle it and choked back his tears.

Even though Cloud was about to break, he couldn't bring himself to think of the torture the three silver haired young men wrought on Elena. This was not because it was too horrific to think about, on the contrary it was simply because of who she was or rather was not. Cloud snorted in his mind as he thought how someone could think Elena was an important blonde. Everyone who was anyone knew that the blonde hierarchy was Cloud, then Rufus and then Cid.

Cloud looked up at Vincent, who was still speaking. Okay so maybe Cid and Rufus were tied for second place.

"…on Jenova's head," the ex-Turk said as he finished his monologue.

The mention of Jenova snapped Cloud out of his rambling thoughts and once again he focused on Vincent and the battle ahead of him.

* * *

A/N: This is what happens when I'm working on a serious story, (Hurricane…Horizon) my brain rebels when there is no comedy and forces itself upon me. Mother... err Jenova save me!

Cloud: I'm not an idiot.  
_I know sweetie… you're just too damn easy to pick on though._  
Cloud: Why can't you pick on someone else? *ducks his head and pouts*  
_See! That's why! You just to Gaia damned adorable and gah!_  
Cloud: *continues to pout while looking up with big blue eyes*  
_So, that's how you defeated Sephiroth, huh? In the epic battle between Sexy and Cute, cute won._  
Cloud: *nods and ducks his head again in a bashful way*  
_Must… resist… cuteness…_


End file.
